2018

December 2018.

Carefree, healthy, fun.

37 years old.

Holidays, 38th birthday. Rainbow baby 7 months old, older son 4 years old.

Happy family of 4.

BOOM….

Stage 3 breast cancer.

Enjoying life to life turned upside down.

Maternity leave to long term disability.

Pregnant to post partum to hormones shut down.

Healthy and happy to sick and worried.

Up at night with baby to can’t get out of bed.

No medications to 10 or more pills a day.

Endless doctors.

Obgyn to an Oncologist and a Breast Surgeon.

Csection to Port Placement.

16 rounds of chemotherapy.

Long hair to no hair.

Playing all day to sleeping all day.

Athletic to can’t move.

No pain to everything pain.

Being a caregiver to needing a caregiver.

Calm to always anxious.

Mental clarity to extreme brain fog.

Eating anything to loss of appetite.

Feeling strong to extreme fatigue and weakness.

Full of life to fighting for my life.

Bilateral mastectomy.

Body morphed.

Drains and emptying drains.

Holding my babies to can’t hold my babies.

Moving my arms to very limited mobility.

Expanders to infection.

Infection to more surgery.

One expander removal, one expander staying put.

Tumors gone to lymph node involvement.

28 rounds of radiation.

Recovering to more fatigue.

Skin healing to major burns.

Lymphedema in left arm.

More scans.

Osteopenia.

Always positive but absolutely drained.

No hair to short, gray hair.

38 years old to 39 years old.

Figuring out life with two kids to figuring out my new normal.

More pain, more swelling, other expander out.

Expanders to flat.

No more reconstruction.

Breast cancer fighter to breast cancer survivor.

No active treatment to monthly injections.

Dissipating side effects, new side effects to lasting side effects.

Sleeping all day to insomnia.

Extreme hot flashes.

Physical therapy for arm and chest, psychotherapy for everything else.

Anxiety to PTSD.

More pain, more tests, oophorectomy.

Raising awareness and an advocate.

Now almost 40.

Children 2.5 years and 6 years old.

Almost 2 years of craziness.

Still figuring out my new normal, but I’m getting there.

Storm clouds are giving way to some light.

Stronger, wiser, hopeful.

Positive, determined and grounded.

Survivor, warrior, fighter.

One tough mama.

From stage 3 to me…